Life can be funny sometimes, can't it? I spent four years in college avoiding making any commitment to, or even thinking about the possibility of, a career path. I was a history major. I loved History. I also majored in Political Science. I spent 75% of the hours I was supposed to be reading assigned texts not related to those two subjects (and sometimes related to those subjects) reading Kurt Vonnegut books and Adbusters instead.
As my college friends and roommates could attest, my free time was pretty evenly divided between sleeping, drinking, recreational drugs, video games, music, and movies. Often times, some combination of the above was involved.
My favorite college activity was playing Age of Empires II at 4 AM while listening to The GC5 stoned and drunk. Once a semester, I would execute my end-of-class ritual for classes I didn't care about. That ritual: spend two days reading all assigned readings in preparation for a final, take the final, forget everything I had read in the previous two days, and cross my fingers that my grade wouldn't end up being something my parents would be pissed about.
During one of those rituals, I actually threw up my hands in boredom, smoked a bong, and watched the Scooby Doo movie. I vividly remember the movie ending, me thinking, "That was terrible. And I still need to finish studying." Then going back to my room and studying, still high, and not going to sleep because the final was at 9 AM, and I knew I wouldn't wake up for it if I slept. I left the house as the Sun came up and walked from 142 N. Hancock to State Street, and thought about how ridiculous I was.
I watched the panhandlers on State Street calling it a night/morning, as the city awoke and the streets were getting cleaned. Me, emerging from my dark room, where I'd been huddled over some textbook I didn't care about, feeling resentful that I had to demonstrate knowledge in a subject area like Microeconomics, hungry and desperate for coffee at 6:40 AM.
What am I doing with my life? I'm a mess. I need to take my life more seriously.
I stopped at Memorial Union that morning for the Madison version of a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit, and finished off my cram session. I went to take a final exam, convinced that none of it mattered. Microeconomics. Logic. Intro to State Government. All I cared about was History (specifically American), Political Science (specifically Political Theory (aka Philosophy)), Kurt Vonnegut, and Adbusters.
For those of you who don't know what Adbusters is, it's a magazine that grossly oversimplifies things and holds marketing and advertising in complete and total contempt. If I knew then that as I write this, some 8 years later, I would be working for a marketing company, I would think I was high as shit.
When I started this job, a well meaning coworker remarked that my background in History and Political Science was esoteric. He meant absolutely nothing by it, but that it was quirky. I responded, "Not just Political Science. Political Theory! Meaning I did nothing but think and write about what 'Justice' meant!" We laughed.
I get it. Believe me, I do. These aren't career-making fields of study! Political Theory?! This is me at a job interview:
Interviewer: Tell me how you would evaluate the profitability of investing in emerging technologies. (That's a ridiculous interview question I realize, but I'm struggling here to make a point.)
Me: I'll do you one better. I'll tell you how I would evaluate the pros and cons of positive conceptions of Justice, as displayed in Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice! (That's not actually ridiculous. I wrote a paper on that topic and received an A in a 400-level class because of it. (Well, it's kind of ridiculous, it was basically just 5 pages of me bullshitting. (BUT... it was bullshit I meant.)))
Do I regret my choices? No. And here's the point I'm building up to. The thesis of this blogpost.
If for no other reason, my four years of studying History and Political Science (Theory) has convinced me. CONVINCED me. That when I see things like this...
http://gawker.com/msnbc-host-wants-someone-to-shit-in-sarah-palins-mouth-1466847681
...I can confidently say that the Sarah Palins have already been relegated to a punchline. In 5 years, she will be relegated to a bar joke told to a smattering of, "Who?"'s. In 25 years, she'll be an answer in Trivial Pursuit. In 100 years, no one will know who the fuck she is at all.
When I see stories about "selfies" and I feel old for not knowing what they are or that they're a meme, I can confidently say that no one will use the term "selfie" in 10 years except for in the modern/future equivalent of what VH1's "I love the 80s" from the 90s is/will be now/in 10 years.
"Remember selfies?" Some asshole who'll be forgotten three days subsequently, if ever known (is it Daniel Tosh right now? Probably, I think), will say. "[insert obvious joke for the times here]."
Perhaps best of all, though, my course of study has given me the wherewithal to understand that in 50 years, Barack Obama may very well be a trivia answer as well. He may only ever be remembered for having been the first black (or perhaps minority) President.
But for the duration of the United States, George W. Bush will always be known as one of the worst Presidents in our history.
With that foresight and knowledge, the frustrations of these modern times wash over me. I breathe deep. I reflect upon that May morning on State Street. The scent of the previous night's debauchery. My own pot hangover. The cigarettes on my breath. And I'm glad things have gone as they have.
I just wish that Scooby Doo movie didn't suck so much.
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